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I did Tina, gay slang for crystal meth, for eight years. Not every day, though every day I wanted it so badly that I did other drugs to hold off the cravings. Why are so many people — especially urban gay men — still risking their lives as I did? Imagine a magic powder that transforms every potential lover into the person of your dreams. Now suppose every touch of that person feels like full-body orgasms for hours, and your hunger for them never ceases as long as you are under the spell.
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I was laying on a couch in the living room of a ranch in the backwoods of Colorado attempting to sleep fully dressed and wearing my steel toe boots and my hard knuckle riding gloves while grasping a 12 inch long wrench, ready to strike in case I was attacked in the middle of the night. Three weeks into the journey, I was riding through the Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona after having seen the Grand Canyon earlier that day. The scorching Arizona heat made it feel like I was riding through a giant hair dryer while sitting inside a hot oven.